Hero
by Oni No Yami Chan
Summary: Phil still believed in heroes, even though Bruce never believed he could be one. Slash, spoilers


"According to our leading experts," Nick Fury announced to the group, standing before them with his hands poised behind his back, "We are ready for the testing phase of the experimental super soldier recreated serum." He looked around at the group of SHIELD agents before him. "We are currently looking for volunteers to be administered the serum."

There was a long moment of silence. It was risky. The original serum test had been risky enough. He wasn't expecting anyone to volunteer, but after a few more moments, a hand shot up. All heads turned to a very determined-looking agent Phil Coulson.

Nick gave the other a curt nod. "Right… Agent Coulson, would you please follow me? We have to brief you and then begin the preliminary tests and work that needs to be done."

Only hours later, they met for the first time.

"Bruce," Phil breathed out, coughing up blood. No, it couldn't end like this… He couldn't just die, cold and alone, with the world crashing down around him. He was supposed to be able to stop the bad guy and save the day. Or at least hold him off until someone else could.

And he certainly couldn't just go and die before he and Bruce had their happy ending.

"Eyes on me," he heard Nick demand.

All he wanted in that moment was Bruce. He needed to know he was alright. Needed to know he was going to be alright.

As his voice failed him and his last breath was leaving his body, Phil saw a bright light. A gentle hand caressed his cheek, and a familiar voice whispered, "It's okay…"

The first time they met, Phil wasn't sure what to think of him. Nick led Phil over to Bruce, who was hard at work on the serum and all the components to go with it. "Dr. Banner," the SHIELD director stated, catching his attention. The doctor turned his gaze to the pair, looking from Nick to Phil a few times.

"Is this our volunteer?" he asked, his voice soft. Phil noted how tired he sounded.

Nodding, Nick nudged Phil forward. "Agent Phil Coulson," Phil introduced himself, holding out a hand for Bruce to shake. Scrambling with the items in his hand, Bruce had to carefully set them aside before he took Phil's hand in his own, giving it a firm shake. But there was something in his gaze as he murmured, "Nice to meet you," that caused Phil to tighten his grip very slightly. He needed to assure this man that everything would be okay.

Before Phil knew what was happening, though, he was being whisked away for more tests.

There was a reason that Phil asked Natasha to bring Bruce in. He didn't want their reunion to be on bad terms, and calling him in to do a job for SHIELD was definitely a bad term. Bruce had quit for a reason, Phil understood and respected that, but Nick did not. Nick needed an expert on Gamma radiation.

And who better than the man who, above all else, knew its harmful effects?

Phil tried his best to avoid Bruce. He was there when Bruce and Steve were introduced, but he was quickly hurried away before either had the chance to say anything. In a way, it was a good thing. Mostly because Phil had no idea where he stood with the doctor.

But he finally caught a break when Tony loudly announced that he had to use the bathroom and made his way out of the lab. Bruce was still hard at work, his glasses sliding down his nose slightly, his face contorted in concentration.

"Dr. Banner?" Phil asked, softly, slipping into the room. Bruce paused, turning to face the other.

"Agent Coulson…" he echoed, watching Phil for a few moments.

Phil nervously licked his lips, glancing around him, and finally couldn't help himself. He rushed over to Bruce, putting his hands on either side of the other's hips and kissed him. He could feel Bruce become tense against him, but as Phil began moving his lips wordlessly against Bruce's, Bruce slowly melted.

When they parted, Bruce whispered, "I thought I wouldn't be seeing you at all… You rushed away when I arrived… And I thought we agreed that…"

"Well actually," Phil interrupted, gently. "_We_ never agreed on anything, honestly. I just… Yeah, I never got the chance."

Bruce smiled slightly, giving Phil one last kiss on the lips before turning back to his work, just as Tony entered the room. He immediately began to whine about Fury sending them a babysitter, but Phil quickly waved him off and explained he was just checking in. As he left, Phil shot Bruce a secret look that the scientist returned with a soft smile. Phil couldn't help but chuckle as he walked down the hall, listening to Tony's excited scientific ramblings.

"Dr. Banner?"

Bruce glanced up from his lunch, turning his gaze to the doorway. He was still busy working, barely touching his food as he did so. In the doorway stood his future guinea pig, Phil Coulson, looking determined as ever. Whatever he was determined about, Bruce was curious about, but would never dare to ask.

Standing, Bruce nodded to Phil. "Agent Coulson," he greeted. "What can I do for you?"

Phil stood chewing on the inside of his lip for several seconds before he sighed. "Would you like to go out to lunch with me? Become… better acquainted?" he asked, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

"… Excuse me?" Bruce asked, more surprised than offended.

"Would you like to go to lunch?" Phil repeated, stronger this time.

Bruce glanced down at his meager meal; an apple, half a sandwich and a bottle of water. He looked back up at Phil. "That sounds… Nice. But I'm afraid I don't have my wallet with me…"

"I'll pay!" Phil quickly cried, causing Bruce to jump slightly. Biting his lip, Phil took a small step back. "Sorry. Uh… I don't mind paying for you, Dr. Banner, it's okay. I was expecting to have to anyway." At the look Bruce gave him, his eyes widened. "I-I don't mean to say that I think you're a freeloader or anything. What I meant was that…"

Smiling, Bruce cut him off, shaking his head. "It's okay, I understand." Standing, he pulled a sweater that had been draped over his chair on over his head. "Let's go."

The cellist who moved to Portland. She'd been a ruse. Phil wasn't ashamed of what they had, but Bruce didn't want Phil to be known as the man who was dating a monster. Despite how much Phil insisted that he didn't care, Bruce could only shake his head, telling Phil that his decision was made.

They'd been keeping in contact through letters and scarce phone calls, but just before the Avengers Initiative was enacted, Bruce called Phil for the last time.

"I need to disappear," he stated, his voice soft, the phone crackling.

Phil rested his hand on the wall, staring down at the floor. "I don't want you to be without protection," he insisted, pleadingly.

A sigh crackled over the speaker. "That's why I need to disappear. I hear people have been snooping around looking for me. They… Want the Other Guy…"

Biting his lip, Phil murmured, "SHIELD can keep them away from you… Bruce, just…" He fell silent.

"I need to go," Bruce whispered.

"I want you to come home," Phil insisted, desperately. "I need you. I miss you… I'm not afraid of you, Bruce, I never have been, just please come back to me, please!"

Bruce was quiet for another moment. "This is why, Phil. I know you aren't afraid, but you should be."

"You've been without incident for six months-…"

"And who's to say I won't snap the moment I get back?" Bruce demanded. "I'm sorry, Phil… Please… Do me a favor?"

Phil wasn't certain that he wanted to know. "Anything," he answered, anyway, not wanting to let Bruce down in their last conversation.

He could practically hear the tears in Bruce's voice. "Find someone who can make you happy." And the line went dead.

Bruce screamed, squirming on the couch in Phil's apartment. They'd turned on a film to watch, but had long since abandoned it, preferring the entertainment that one another held. "Phil, Phil, s-stop!" the doctor cried, giggling as Phil ran his fingers up and down his stomach.

"Mmm… Oh, no, no… I'm not letting you get away," Phil chuckled, running a hand up Bruce's side, causing the scientist to shudder. "You know, you're really cute when you let your hair down, Doc," Phil teased, letting Bruce go and leaning back in his seat, smiling at the other mischievously.

Face flushed, Bruce slumped slightly in his own seat, putting a hand to his chest. "You, sir," he began, but quickly stopped, shaking his head with a smile. "I certainly wasn't expecting this when you asked me out to lunch a few weeks ago," he admitted.

Phil draped his arm over the back of the couch, smirking at his companion. "No?" he asked, teasingly. "Honestly, I wasn't, either. I thought you'd say no."

"And pass up a free lunch?" Bruce laughed. "No way!"

The pair sat laughing to themselves until the laughter subsided and their eyes met. Phil was the first to move, leaning forward, his heart pounding loudly in his chest. He didn't have to lean in all the way, Bruce met him when he had almost met the doctor's lips, tentatively meeting Phil's lips with his own.

As they separated, Bruce let out a soft, "Oh…" his eyes still closed. Phil's hand found its way to Bruce's cheek, gently caressing him.

"Dr. Banner," Phil murmured, touching his forehead to Bruce's with a small smile. "Would you like to stay the night?"

"I need to leave," Bruce stated, staring at the wall of Phil's apartment. He was curled up in bed, the blankets pulled tight around his body, as Phil got dressed. The SHIELD agent paused, glancing over at Bruce.

"Did… I do something wrong?" Phil asked, softly, walked over to the bed and putting a gentle hand on Bruce's shoulder. "You need to talk to me…" When Bruce didn't answer, Phil squeezed him gently. "Bruce?"

Rolling over, Bruce looked up into Phil's face. "You didn't do anything wrong," he insisted. "I just…" He sighed slightly, leaning up. He put a hand behind Phil's neck and pulled him in for a soft, sweet kiss. "I need to disappear. The Hulk… Needs to disappear," he whispered.

Phil put a hand on the other side of Bruce's head, looking between his eyes. "SHIELD can protect you," he murmured, leaning in and kissing Bruce's forehead. "Please… Don't leave me… Please," he begged softly.

Bruce put a hand on Phil's chest, watching him. "I'll write… And call. But I really need to be away. You… You're in danger. Everyone is."

"… Is this about the incident..?" Phil asked, paling slightly as he remembered. It had been a while since he'd encountered the Hulk. And the chance meeting between them hadn't been a pleasant or particularly happy reunion.

"It is," Bruce answered, pulling Phil down onto the bed beside him. "But… I need to plan this out… I'll be here for a little while longer."

Uncertain as to how he should react, Phil studied Bruce's face until he came to a decision. "You're staying right here. With me," he breathed, pulling Bruce close and kissing his lips over and over. "I'm going to help you find a nice quiet place to stay, but until then you aren't leaving my side." Bruce opened his mouth, but Phil clutched him, kissing his lips firmly for a moment. "Don't argue."

Smiling, Bruce whispered, "Okay…" before Phil pulled him in close again.

"Please be careful," Bruce begged, looking nervously up at Phil. "I… I don't want anything bad to happen…"

Phil chuckled. "What's going to happen? You act like it's going to be something horrible. You know as well as I do that this is the only way for us to have the pleasure we seek."

Glancing away, Bruce murmured, "I know…" He sighed, looking back up at Phil. "But I wish you wouldn't have to climb up on the roof to get it!"

The SHIELD agent laughed, adjusting Bruce's dish slightly. "Come on, you're supposed to be watching the screen!" he called, peeking over the edge at Bruce.

"S-stop, don't lean over so far!" Bruce cried, eyes widening. "Oh god, you're going to fall and hurt yourself, come down right now, Phil Coulson!"

"Fine, fine," Phil grumbled. "That about does it anyway," he added, easily sliding down the ladder. "See?" he stated, holding his arms open. "No bones broken, no cuts, no bruises. I'm perfectly fi—oof!"

Bruce had practically tackled Phil to the ground, holding him tight and shaking very slightly. "You're so mean… I was scared, you know how I feel about heights," he insisted, squeezing his eyes shut.

With another soft laugh, Phil laced his fingers in Bruce's hair, gently petting the curled locks. "I know," he answered, shrugging. "That's why I was up there and you were on the ground fussing over me." Bruce opened his mouth to protest, but Phil quickly placed a finger over his lips. "You. Were. Fussing. Don't tell me otherwise," he laughed.

"… Thank you… For doing that for me," Bruce whispered, leaning up to plant his lips on Phil's. Phil immediately closed his eyes, engrossing himself in those tentative lips, and wrapped his arms around Bruce's waist, pulling him down into the grass beside him.

"You are more than welcome," Phil panted softly, kissing Bruce a few more times. "Now… I think I deserve a treat after that nerve-wrecking performance."

It took Bruce a few moments to realize what the 'treat' he was asking for was, but when he did a small smirk came over his lips. "You need to ask nicely, and maybe I'll give it to you," he purred, leaning in to kiss Phil once more.

Fear gripped Bruce as his eyes shot open. His heart was beating rapidly, both in his chest and on the heart monitor at his side. Shakily, Bruce sat up, trying to gather his barring. Where was he? How did he get here?

"Just let me see him!" a distant voice cried before the door burst open. Phil rushed in, over to his bedside, and grasped his hand. "Bruce… A-are you okay?" he breathed, looking over the other's face.

Bruce glanced at their laced fingers, uncertain how to react for a moment. "I… I'm fine," he whispered in response. "I think so… Where am I? What happened?"

Phil didn't respond, all he could do was pull Bruce into his arms and hold him tightly, shaking. "Phil… What..?" Bruce began asking, but then he saw it.

Over Phil's shoulder, just outside the door to his room, Bruce saw the decimated hallway. They were inside the SHIELD labs buildings, far from the room Bruce last recalled being in. "What did it do to me?" he whispered, fearfully. Phil couldn't bring himself to answer.

"You can't do this!" Phil cried, slightly outraged that Bruce was even suggesting this. The pair stood before Director Fury, Bruce's expression calm and calculating.

Nick studied them, his chin resting in his hands. "What made you suggest this, Dr. Banner?" he asked, calmly.

"I ran a few diagnostic tests," Bruce answered, watching Nick and trying to ignore Phil's hard glare. "And I feel that it would be safer if I were to administer the serum to myself."

Gritting his teeth, Phil snapped, "I've been going through training for months! You've been there, with me every step of the way, you told me the risks! Do you not trust me?"

Finally, Bruce turned his gaze to Phil, his eyes hard and narrowed. Phil took a surprised step backward. "Phil," Bruce hissed. "I just can't let you do this. It's too risky. There are so many factors, anything could go wrong." Phil could practically feel his blood coming to a boil in his veins.

"All the more reason why you _shouldn't_ do it!" he shouted. He wanted to shake Bruce, to scream at him and tell him what an idiot he was being.

Nick suddenly held up a hand to stop their argument. "Your request, Doctor," he began, "Is going to be approved."

Shocked, Phil stood silent as Bruce thanked the director before he gathered his thoughts and slammed his hands down on the desk. "You can't do this," he insisted. "You just can't."

Waiting for Phil to finish his outburst, Nick replied, "Dr. Banner is the obvious substitute choice. He has gone through all the training you have, has had every diagnostic run on him just as you have, but he knows the inner workings of the serum better than you." Sighing, Nick rubbed his temple slightly as though fighting off a migraine. "The amount of Gamma radiation in the serum… That alone could kill you. But Dr. Banner is the leading expert, he's spent a lot of time around it, which means his body has slight tendencies to be immune to it. You, Agent Coulson, do not. As far as the good doctor's research has shown, you'll die almost instantaneously. And we don't have the time to put you through the resistance training that Dr. Banner has gone through." Nick sat back in his chair, waiting for Phil to resume his shouting.

Phil's shoulders relaxed slightly as realization. So Bruce wasn't doing it to be a martyr. He knew he stood a better chance. "I… I apologize," he whispered, biting his lip. "I just… I thought…"

"We will resume as scheduled," Nick stated, standing. A sign that they were dismissed.

Bruce finally glanced at Phil, giving him an apologetic smile before leading him out of the room. They were halfway down the hall before Phil grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers. "Where do you want to go to lunch today?" he asked, gently.

It seemed that everyone else thought they knew Phil so much better than him. Bruce stood outside, the rain coming down hard on his head as he watched the mourners coming and going from the funeral. Clint stepped up beside him, and Bruce shot him a sideways glance as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket, sliding one into his mouth.

"Here," Clint offered the pack to Bruce after lighting his. Though Bruce didn't smoke, he felt that it was a good time to start. He took one and allowed Clint to light it for him. He took in a drag and immediately began to cough.

Chuckling, Clint easily took a drag and blew it into the foggy sky, head tilted back. "It's all bullshit," he grumbled, closing his eyes.

Bruce had finally gotten the hang of taking in a drag and slowly letting it out, not holding for too long. He looked over at Clint again at the marksman's words. "What is?"

"This whole thing. Coulson dying," Clint grumbled, crossing his arms, being careful not to let the cigarette touch his suit jacket. "Tony's right. He should have waited for someone who could handle Loki… He shouldn't have tried to take him on alone… If I hadn't been-…"

"Don't start that again," Bruce interrupted, looking away. "Ms. Romanoff told you to stop beating yourself up about it."

Clint peeked an eye open at Bruce. "Ms. Romanoff? You can call her Natasha. After what we went through…"When Bruce didn't answer, Clint sucked in another drag before adding, "And we never could find her… That cellist from Portland. It's a shame, according to Pepper and Fury he was really into her. Talked about her all the time…"

The rain was deafening. It was coming down harder than ever, but that was perfect. It disguised the tears that were sliding down Bruce's tanned cheeks. "It's okay…" he murmured. "She got her invite…"

Surprised, Clint turned to Bruce completely now. "Really? Did you find her or something? Where is she, anyway? According to Fury she used to work for SHIELD. But then there was some kind of lab accident and…" Slowly, realization flooded Clint's face. "Say Bruce," he began, uncertainly. "Just… Out of curiosity… Are you into music?"

Bruce dropped the cigarette, stomping it out with his shoe and taking a step away from Clint. "A bit," he admitted. "I took ten years of cello lessons. And apparently I have a good singing voice if I let people actually hear me…"

Clint reached out a hand, grasping Bruce's shoulder tightly. "… Why didn't you… Say anything?" he asked, trying to find the right words to comfort his teammate. "You didn't even talk to him when we were on the helicarrier. You didn't give him a second glance."

"Because… I had to protect him. From myself," Bruce answered. He turned to look Clint in the eye, his nose and cheeks slightly red from crying. "But I couldn't protect him when it really mattered… I couldn't… I couldn't be the hero he always wanted me to be…"

There were so many words rushing through Clint's mind. So many cliché phrases that he thought might comfort Bruce. But the only thing that he thought would really work, he did. He reached out his arms and clamped them tightly over Bruce's shoulders, pulling the broken doctor close to his chest, sliding a hand into his sopping, curly locks. His grip tightened when Bruce let out a choked sob, clutching onto the back of Clint's jacket.

Eyes hard and determined, Clint decided right then and there that he would never let anything hurt this man again. He was going to make sure that Bruce was always well taken care of, and that he would always be happy.

He knew it was what Coulson would have wanted.


End file.
